


Threads of Life

by Snickerdoodle225



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Bonds, Coming Out, Dark Magic, Elariel, F/F, F/M, Family, Family Dinner, Finding their way, Heterosexual Sex, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Magic, Mating, Missionary, Oral, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex, Smut, Struggling emotions, Wing Kink, doggie style, feysand, powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:53:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28539150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snickerdoodle225/pseuds/Snickerdoodle225
Summary: Elain gains new powers when the cauldron gets a new home: She can see the mating bonds of every single person in the world. And those bonds do not lead to where she thought they did.At the same time, Lucien finds out who his father really is and Mor comes out to all of them.
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Morrigan (ACoTaR)/Original Character(s), Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 14
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **This will start rather tame but I promise you Elain/Azriel smut by the end of this piece. And maybe a little light Mor/OC fluff. Explicit chapters will be labeled in a very obvious manner.

Family dinners were always interesting in the Night Court, and this particular evening was no different. Rhys would bicker with Mor, Cassian and Amren would glare at each other across the table, and Feyre would at least attempt to keep the peace. Elain enjoyed these meals mostly in silence, only chiming in when something was asked of her. Watching the drama unfold was more entertaining than being a part of it. 

The fact that they could have these dinners at all was a miracle, she supposed. Everyone had come home from the war fully alive, if a little rough around the edges. Elain figured that she would rather have this than no family at all. 

Elain had never been without family. Feyre was here with her now, Nesta had been there before. Their father, even in his injured state, had been there for a while. Even Greysen and his father had been part of her family for a time. But the rest of these figures, were they her family? Or were they Feyre’s family that she was generously sharing to make Elain feel better. 

Unsure of the answer, Elain looked up from her plate to meet the eyes of Azriel, the shadowsinger that sat across the table. Azriel was the only one of the motley crew she actually felt any connection with. Dark and mysterious on the outside, Azriel had a heart of gold that Elain wished the whole world could see.

Azriel smiled at her from his seat, reaching for his wine glass. The quiet man always made Elaine feel welcome and not so out of place among these loud people. 

Elain reached for her own wine glass to salute him, as they did so often at these events, but just as she picked up her glass, she dropped it. Crystal shattered on the table as a blinding pain shot through Elain’s head. She curled over and held her temples before sliding out of her chair. 

Warm arms caught her before she hit the marble floor and giant wings shielded the light from her eyes. Elain opened her eyes to Azriel’s worried face hovering over her. Feyre was there, crouched next to him, asking her what happened. 

“It felt like…the cauldron. Myriam and Drakon must have arrived home and put it in its final resting place.” Elain rubbed her temples one more time as she looked up at Azriel. “I think I’m okay now, the pain has passed.”

Azriel was hesitant, but he stood with her in his arms and placed her back in her chair. Rhys magically removed the broken glass and placed a new one on the table in front of Elain, along with a tall glass of water. Elain reached for the water and took a large drink. 

The others dug back into their meal, but Azriel lingered for a moment. “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked quietly still slightly bent over to her level.

Elain nodded, “Yes, it was just a flash. I think that…” Elain trailed off as she looked up at the massive Illyrian standing over her. Everything was exactly as it should be except for the white string of light that fell from the center of his chest. Elain reached up and brushed the string, marveling at its beauty. 

Elain looked around the room. Threads of white light now appeared on every person in the room. Other threads of light appeared too, but not everyone had them. Cassian’s string was brighter than Azriel’s, but Feyre’s was the most vibrant and glowing of all of them. 

And her thread led directly to Rhys. Several other ropes of light connected them, but that white one was the foundation for everything else.

Elain looked back at Azriel. “I think that they may have just dropped it into place or something. I’m fine now.”

Azriel stood and returned to his meal. Feyre glanced at him, not commenting on the exchange. 

Elain tried to continue her food, but the new lights distracted her. Nobody else seemed to see them, so they prattled on happily while she stared at the new magic. Mor had a twisted band of yellow that led off to the north somewhere. Cassian’s white string seemed to fly off the balcony into the city. 

And Azriel’s white string led directly to Elain.


	2. Chapter 2

Several days later, Elain decided to go roaming through the city to clear her head, and she realized not everyone had these white strings, though most of them did. They pointed in all different directions and varied in size and vibrancy, but the color and texture remained the same. The white threads were consistent, the other colors were not. Some of the colored magic strings were more like ropes or rods or what Elain would imagine jungle vines to look like. Elain even had one of the colored ones, a dark green twisting connection that pointed to the south. 

Observing the people around her, Elain found a woman whose white thread was bright and glowing in the afternoon sun. The woman had no other threads, but the white rope seemed to have beads of light flying down it. One bead would run right into the woman and she would get an interesting look on her face for a moment before another bead flew down the string away from her. 

How odd. 

The sound of flapping wings caused her to look up just in time to see Feyre land beside her. Dressed in the Illyrian leathers of her people, Feyre shifted out of her wings and approached Elain. 

“You’ve been acting weird ever since that night you collapsed at dinner, and you haven’t said anything but something happened. I just wanted to tell you I noticed before I lose the courage to ask, so I came looking for you.”

Of course, Feyre noticed. She noticed everything. But if anyone could help her figure out what was going on, it was her sister. 

Elain took a deep breath. “Right after I collapsed, I think I gained a new form of magic, but I don’t know for sure and I don’t know what it means.”

Feyre thought for a second. “So, you’re out here in the snow trying to figure that out?”

Elain nodded. “But I think I’ve come to the end of my knowledge on the matter. Will you help me?”

“Of course. What do you need me to do?”

“I know you’re not super comfortable being inside other people’s heads, but I need you to see through my eyes to be able to explain. I’m inviting you into my mind so you can help me figure out what’s going on.”

Feyre definitely looked uncomfortable. “Are you sure you want me to do that?”

“I really don’t have secrets from you, Feyre, so if you’re worried about seeing something you shouldn’t, don’t. I’ve thought about this for a bit now, and it seems the most logical solution for you to help like this.”

It was Feyre’s turn to nod. “Ready?”

At Elain’s signal, Feyre reached out with her Daemati powers and melted into Elain’s mind. Elain kept her eyes closed for a moment before showing Feyre exactly what she saw every time she opened her eyes. 

Feyre gasped. “What in the world…?”

“My thoughts exactly,” said Elain with a sigh. “My best guess is that they’re magical connections between people, but for what is beyond me. You have several threads, and most of them lead to Rhys, including your bright white one.” In her mind, Elain showed her what she had seen of the fae in the shop and on the rest of them at dinner.

While they were talking, a bead of light flew into Feyre from her white rope. Feyre froze. “The white ones are mating bonds. That bead was Rhys sending me a mental message. The other colors must be other types of magical bargains and bonds, which explains why I have several more then the average person. I’ve had to make bargains with monsters and nasty beings.”

Elain shook her head, “That can’t be.”

Feyre melted away from Elain’s mind. “Why not?”

“Because my white light goes directly to Azriel. And I’ve never made a magical bargain, yet I have the green rope that you saw.”

Feyre thought for a second, “Can you touch these strings?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never tried,” Elain said quietly. 

“I’ll call a meeting at the house and we’ll talk about this. Care to fly back with me or walk yourself?”

“I’ll fly with you. The sooner we do this the better.”

The living room of the townhouse was crowded when they got there, full of the people Feyre considered family. As they walked in the room, Rhys asked Feyre if everything was alright. She nodded but asked for everyone to be quiet and still for a moment. 

Feyre slipped back inside Elain’s mind. While Rhys stood next to Feyre, it was hard to see the link. “Rhys, can you go stand over by Azriel?”

Rhys complied, clearly curious and mildly concerned about what his mate was up to. Elain reached for the white rope and grasped it firmly. 

Rhys gasped. Feyre said, “So, it is true…”

“What is?” said a new voice behind them. There stood Nesta, looking like she had just walked into her least favorite place in the world. All eyes turned to the newcomer as Elain fumbled for words. She hadn’t thought about what she would say to all of them about it. 

The silence seemed to piss off Nesta even more, “FINE! Keep your secrets!” She stormed away. 

The room was awkward for a moment before Elain noticed the extremely hurt look on Cassian’s face. Knowing Feyre was still in her head, Elain thought, Well, there’s one way to test this theory. 

Elain walked up to Cassian, picked up his white thread, turned away from him (the direction Nesta had gone), and yanked on the thread. 

Cassian only gasped in the same way Rhys had. But a minute later, Nesta came barreling back in the door yelling, “What did you do to me?!”

Elain smiled sweetly, “I did nothing, but you left without saying what you came here for. So, spill.”

Nesta grumbled for a moment before looking at Elain. “I was going to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.”

“I would love to. Meet at your place?”

Nesta nodded and left, peacefully this time. As soon as she was gone, Elain felt Feyre drop out of her mind just before she burst out laughing. Elain soon joined her, giggling like a maniac. 

Everyone else was still confused and staring as the two sisters cackled together. 

“Ladies, care to explain?” said Rhys smoothly. 

Feyre managed to get a hold of herself first, “After that pain at dinner the other night, Elain can see magic bonds between people. She can see magical bargains someone has made as ropes of light, but she can also see mating bonds between people.”

Elain wiped a tear from her eye as she chimed in. “I saw Cassian’s light connect to Nesta and figured it was the fastest way to test the theory and prove a point with Nesta.”

Suddenly, the room seemed like a vacuum of emotion. Nobody except Feyre and Elain dared to breathe. 

“So, there is a way for us to find our mates?” Mor asked quietly. 

Elain thought for a second. “I suppose so. The threads don’t change based on how far away they are but based on how much power I think you feed the bond. Feyre and Rhys’s bond is a massive rope of white light, but Cassian’s is more like yarn, yours is but a thread, and Amren doesn’t even have one. I can see what direction it goes, so I guess I can track them but I can’t tell you where they are.”

Amren looked at Elain, “But I don’t have one?”

Elain shook her head. “There are a few others in the city that don’t have them, but it’s rare. Maybe your destined mate has already died? I don’t know, I’m just guessing.”

A knock sounded on the door. Feyre disappeared to answer it and came back with Lucien. 

“Sorry I’m late, what did I miss?” he said, laying his coat over the back of the sofa. No one answered. 

In the silence, Elain took the opportunity to observe the bond between her and Lucien. Dark. Twisted. Gnarled. Stretched taut where all the other mating bonds were light and airy. It almost looked infected. Elain felt Feyre creep back into her mind to see what was going on. 

Feyre scowled at what she saw. “Well, that’s odd.”

“What?” asked Lucien. Feyre quickly caught him up on her new magic as Elain stared. When she was finished, Lucien and Elain’s gazes locked. 

“So, what’s wrong?” asked Lucien, correctly reading Elain’s concerned face. 

“We aren’t mates. This bond isn’t a mating bond, it’s dark and different.” Elain reached for the rope of magic and pulled. Lucien doubled over in pain and let out a curse. 

“That is not the same reaction the rest of us had to that,” observed Rhys, reaching out with his mind. Feyre dropped away as Elain allowed Rhys to see what she saw. Rhys raised an eyebrow, “That magic is not the same as the others. That magic is…tainted…”

“What if,” Feyre began thoughtfully, “this was put in place by Hybern? What if he did this on purpose to mess with us?”

“If it’s not a mating bond, then is there a way to break it?” asked Elain hopefully. 

Rhys looked to Feyre, “If there is, the person to ask would be Helion, High Lord of the Day Court. But that trip would take more than one explanation.”

Feyre sighed. “I suppose it’s time I shared my theory.”

Now it was Elain’s turn to frown. “What theory?”

“The theory that Lucien is actually Helion’s son.”

The room was quiet again as everyone looked at Lucien, who said, “I need to sit down,” and sank into the sofa, burying his face in his hands. “What makes you think that?”

Feyre looked at Rhys, and a bead of light flew down their bond. Elain watched it, wondering if she could stop it if she tried. 

Rhys took a breath. “While we were at the meeting of the High Lords before the Hybern war, Helion admitted that he had an affair with you mother during the last war, and that it killed her to let him go when Beron found out. Feyre said Beron has always been particularly cruel to you and your mother as always doted on you more than the other brothers. If you were Helion’s love child, that would make sense. It also would explain why Eris isn’t concerned about you inheriting the title upon Beron’s death, as well as the fact that your complexion is much darker than your brothers.”

Lucien looked at Rhys, clearly attempting to process the information he was just given. “That would certainly explain some things, especially that I can do this.” Lucien stretched both of his hands out face up and glowing balls of light appeared. Not fire, as it should have been if he had been a son of the Autumn Court, but pure white light. 

Rhys’s eyes got wide, “There are only two people I know that can do that. Helion, and Feyre after Helion helped grant her life. I’ll send a letter to the Day Court asking for a meeting, either here or there, and get back to you.” Rhys disappeared, winnowing out of the house. 

Amren huffed, “Useful trick, but I have plans.” She grabbed Mor, who was still staring at Elain, and left by the front door. 

Cassian let out the breath he was holding. “I knew it…” 

Elain turned to him, “I’m sorry my sister is such a bitch, but if I were you, I would keep this information from her until she’s ready for it. She’s fragile, and I think if you told her now, you would lose her forever.”

“Just don’t do what Rhys did and wait too long,” added Feyre. “That’s also grounds for a pissed off mate.”

Cassian stormed up the stairs to the roof, no doubt to sulk and think about what the hell he was going to do with Nesta. 

“How long have you known?” asked Lucien. 

“I had Feyre call the meeting when we figured out what the threads meant, and I only began to see them a few days ago.” Elain sat next to him on the sofa. “Are you okay?”

“On some level, knowing Beron was never my father makes me feel so much better about my life. Finding out my father is some unknown is terrifying. And you? With you I feel guilty. Like I messed up your life by telling you we were mates when we weren’t.”

Elain took his hand. “You couldn’t have known. It’s not like you’ve ever been mated before, right? It’s not your fault you made a mistake. You have a white thread, but it doesn’t connect to me.”

Lucien stood and grabbed his coat. “I’m still sorry I dragged you into this. But I will help you get out of an unwanted bond, whatever it is.”

Elain thanked him and he left, leaving her in the room with Azriel. Feyre had marched up the stars after Cassian, and Elain wasn’t sure if she had gone to comfort him or chastise him. 

Azriel hadn’t moved or said a word the entire time, he just watched Elain with those dark eyes. Shadows swirled around him as he final spoke. “And what about me?” he whispered, closing his eyes. 

“If you’re asking if you’re mated to Mor, the answer is no. You were in the same room and her bond pointed out into the city.” Elain stood and faced him, the white thread between them glowing a little bit brighter. 

Azriel opened his eyes. His gaze bored into Elain as he uncrossed his arms from his chest. He looked like he was about to say something else when Feyre came back downstairs. 

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt something,” she said quietly as she backed up a few steps. 

Azriel shook his head, “No, it’s alright. I was just leaving.” He quickly brushed past Elain and headed out the front door. 

Elain stood immobile as Feyre sat on the bottom step. “Did you tell him?”

“I told him he wasn’t mated to Mor.” Elain sank into the sofa again. 

Feyre paused for a moment. “Are you going to tell him?”

Elain took a breath. “Yes. But not today. He has some things to work out, and I have to deal with this bond with Lucien. I’m going to go walk through the rainbow to clear my head.”

“Want company?”

“No, thank you. I need to be alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be honest I didn't edit this super in depth so if there are errors I'm sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The Lady of the Autumn Court doesn't have an official name, so I gave her one because it made sense to have one.

Helion had accepted their invitation to join them for a weekend in Valeris, so here they were at another family dinner, trying to explain to the High Lord of the Day Court what Elain could do. Helion looked shocked at the news. 

“You know, I can’t see them, but I can feel them when I reach for them. So, they’re colored and textured like I had imagined them to be?” Helion asked as he took a bite of roasted potatoes. 

Elain nodded. “The mating bonds are all smooth and white, while other forms of magic take other colors and shapes to them. But they’re all a form of threads or ropes.”

“And you want me to see if I can break a bond that you found that doesn’t belong?”

“That’s correct,” said Rhys as he sipped his wine. “We believe the bond was created by the King of Hybern when Elain went into the Cauldron and is not the mating bond that the male believed it to be. They each have separate mating bonds that go other directions, not to each other.”

“And who is this male?” Helion asked casually. Lucien had said he was going to be late for dinner, but it had been over an hour and he hadn’t appeared. 

But timing, thy name was Lucien. As if on cue, he briskly walked into the hall and took the one open seat left at the table. “I’m late again, and I’m sorry,” he said before reaching for food. 

Feyre chuckled, “No, no, really your timing is impeccable. Helion just asked who the male is that Elain has this not-mating bond with.”

Lucien made a face. “Oh, that would be me.”

But Helion wasn’t listening. He was just staring at Lucien in awe. “You’re Lucinda’s son,” was all he said. 

Lucien nodded slowly, clearly getting confirmation about Helion being in love with his mother. Not sure how to break the news to Helion, the table was quiet for a while. 

Helion was still staring at Lucien when Feyre spoke up. “You know, when I first met you, Helion, I was struck with the same look on my face, comparing your features. And as soon as you told me your story about your affair with the Lady of Autumn, I knew there was a chance Lucien was your son. Then, a few days ago, Lucien showed us this.” Feyre nodded to Lucien to show Helion the light he could create. 

Helion’s face didn’t move as he beheld his own Court’s power displayed, but a tear slid from the outside corner of his right eye. He whispered, “Lucinda told me she lost the baby.”

A collective gasp swept across the table. The Lady of Autumn had deliberately lied to Helion about his son, and there was no denying the power Lucien held. 

“Beron probably forced her to tell you that, knowing the kind of power he would hold if he raised your son,” said Rhys, slouching in his seat and still holding his wine glass. 

“I’m not so sure he even knew, but Eris certainly had to,” said Lucien quietly. “Maybe she thought it was better if she hid me among the Autumn Court brood.”

“Certainly, a possibility,” said Mor, who had been unusually quiet during this meal. Cassian had also kept his mouth shut for a change. Amren was the only one not present, as she was visiting the Summer Court and her beloved Varian. 

Helion took a deep breath, “Either way, there’s no denying that you are my son. I just wish I had known sooner.” Helion looked at his plate sadly for a moment before looking at Rhys, “Would you mind if I retired early? Finding out one has missed their child’s entire life is a tough pill to swallow, and I’m not sure I can be very good company this evening.”

Rhys nodded, anticipating this, “There are several options for lodgings here in the city. You could stay here, in the House of Wind. We have a comfortable townhouse nearby, or—”

“Or you could stay with me, if you wanted,” said Lucien quickly. “I have a flat in town with an extra bedroom. It certainly isn’t anything grand, but—”

“I would like that very much,” breathed Helion, another tear falling as he looked at Lucien. “I’ve only ever seen you from afar, and I know I missed a lot but I’d like to know you and have you as my heir.”

Lucien was shocked. Being his son was one thing, being heir to the Day Court High Lord was something else completely. “I’ve never really had a home after I was kicked out of Forest House.” He turned to Elain. “We’ll meet you here in the morning to figure out the magic.”

Elain nodded and smiled as Helion and Lucien both got up from the table, Lucien taking his plate and fork with him, and left the room to talk. 

The rest of them managed to make casual small talk through while they finished dinner. Rhys swept Feyre away, back to the town house to be cute and romantic, leaving Elain with Mor and the other two Illyrians. 

“Hey, Elain,” said Mor cautiously. “After you meet with Helion about magic, would you like to have lunch? Feyre and I are meeting up at the townhouse and having lunch in the Rainbow.”

“I would love to,” said Elain with a smile. 

Cassian finished his food, got up, and took flight from the balcony without a word. Elain sighed, “Nesta is an almighty handful, and I do not envy him the headache.” 

Azriel chuckled, “I get the feeling the two of them will have several major fights before things between them get settled.”

Mor nodded, refilling her wine. “I’m just hoping Velaris is still standing after that knock-down drag-out.” 

Elain giggled, agreeing that the fallout would be massive. 

Azriel looked at Elain, “What will you do once the bond is broken with Lucien?”

Behind him, Mor was startled by the question. Elain wasn’t sure the reaction she expected, but Mor smiled evilly and silently disappeared from the table. 

“I’m not sure,” Elain said honestly. “Maybe I can help people in the city find their mates.”

“You know, the day after tomorrow there is a Night Court holiday where people from all over the city gather in the Rainbow and spend the day having conversations with various strangers in hopes of finding their mate.” Azriel’s shadows swirled as he spoke quietly. 

“Do you participate?” asked Elain. 

Azriel didn’t respond right away. Instead, he stared at her in a way that made her feel scrutinized and uncomfortable. Like he was judging whether or not she could be trusted with the information. “Would you like me to fly you back to the townhouse?”

“I would love that, actually,” she smiled at him. A light blush crept across his face at her smile. 

A few minutes later, they were in the air, and Azriel finally answered Elain’s question. “I’ve always wanted to go, but I’ve never been brave enough. It used to be because I didn’t want to find out that Mor wasn’t the one for me, but I’ve long since given up hope on that. Now, I’m afraid that if I find them, they won’t want me because of my being Illyrian or because of my hands or something. Having the world see me as lacking is one thing, but I don’t know if I could withstand that from the one who is supposed to be my partner in life.”

Elain reached up to cup his face, “Azriel, you are amazing, and any woman would be lucky to have you.”

Azriel leaned into her touch. “You seem to be the only one who feels that way.”

Elain didn’t pull her hand away until they had landed on the roof of the townhouse and he set her down. Azriel moved to fly away, but Elain grabbed his hand to stop him. “A mating bond isn’t everything anyways. Plenty of people in this world meet and fall in love without it.”

“I know,” he said, stepping closer to her and taking her other hand. “But the mating bond is something they tell you about in fantasy tales as a child, and from then on it becomes the goal in life. The highest form of companionship. The magical pairing of souls. I know from Rhys’s parents that the bond sometimes isn’t perfect, but then I see what Rhys and Feyre have and wish I had a female like that who would stand by me and fight for me and with me.”

They stared deep into each other’s eyes and Azriel tucked a stray hair behind Elain’s ear. “Elain, when I first found out that you could see the bonds, I was terrified of finding out who the Mother has destined for me. Now, I want to know. I need to know. And we don’t have to do it now, but sometime in the next few days I want to go with you while you follow my thread through the city. And if we come to the edge of town and we haven’t found them, I want to fly until we have.”

Elain sighed and watched as the thread that ran between them glowed just a little bit brighter. “I will absolutely help you find your mate, Azriel.”


	4. Chapter 4

Helion, it turns out, had very little trouble breaking the pseudo-bond between Elain and Lucien. After about an hour of poking and prodding the weird rope, Helion simply grasped it with both hands and pulled. Lucien doubled over with a groan and Elain let out a scream, but when the pain had passed the bond was gone. 

Lucien and Elain both started laughing as they ran at each other for a hug. After a moment, they both let go and Lucien took her hands. “I hope you find your real mate, Elain.”

“I already did, but he doesn’t know it yet,” she replied quietly. 

Understanding flashed in Lucien’s eyes. “Azriel…”

Elain nodded. “I know your father is going to steal you away for a while, but whenever you want to find your mate, I’d be glad to help you.”

Lucien laughed again, “I would love that. Friends?”

“Friends,” she smiled. 

Feyre flew Elain back to the townhouse so they could meet Mor for lunch. “You know, there is a thing in the Rainbow tomorrow—”

“I know, Azriel told me,” Elain interrupted. “I’m going to see if I can help anyone.”

Feyre smiled. “This morning, Azriel asked Rhys for moral support if Azriel decided to go.” 

They landed on the roof. “Last night, in this very spot, Azriel asked me to help him find his mate.”

“Elain, why don’t you want to tell him?” asked Feyre cautiously.

“Because I don’t want him to want me because of some stupid magic, I want him to want me for me! For who I am! For my gardening and my cooking and my smile and my soul!” Feyre had never heard Elain yell like this, but it was refreshing to see fierce emotions coming from her. 

“You know,” a feminine voice said behind them, “Mate or not, I think he likes you.”

Elain whipped around to find Mor standing at the top of the steps. Elain blushed hard, knowing what Mor had heard. 

Mor chuckled at Elain’s reaction. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him, but I think you should give him a little more credit. Azriel has been alive for over five centuries, and I think he had given up hope of finding his mate. Many of us do after a while. Which is why I’ve been pleasantly surprised that he talks to you, Elain. He talks to you in a way he’s never done with anyone else, and when your back is turned, he looks at you as if the sun rises and sets in your eyes and you are his world.”

“So, why doesn’t he say anything?” asked Elain in earnest. 

“Because he thinks he doesn’t deserve you, and that even after all the times you’ve told him differently, you would still condemn him for the things he’s done to keep this court safe. He’s tortured and killed people. He’s spied on other courts. He has ruined people’s lives for the sake of Velaris. He doesn’t want to taint your goodness with his shadows.” Mor gave Elain a hug. “You are going to have to be the one to make him see the truth.”

Elain sighed. “I see. But enough about my problems. Where are we going to lunch, and why were you so scared to ask last night?”

Mor didn’t answer until they were out the front door and down the street. “The first thing you need to know about this little adventure is that I prefer females when it comes to love and romance. When I found out you could see mates, I was wondering if you would help me find my mate if they are here in Velaris. If they are a male, I’ll politely reject him. If they are female, I’ll see if she’ll want to be with me.”

“And if they’re not in this city?”

Mor shrugged, “Then I go back to flirting with the dress designer in the Palace of Thread and Jewels that I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask out.”

Elain just kind of stared at Mor for a moment before that information sank in. “I’m going to guess that the rest of your family doesn’t know about this preference?”

Feyre nodded, “Mor told me during the war, but none of the others know. We would appreciate your discretion on the matter.”

“Oh, of course! I would never tell your secrets. Is that what this lunch is about?”

“Yes,” continued Mor, “I figured we can have lunch at Rita’s and start our search from there since it’s rather centrally located.”

Half an hour later, they were standing outside the front door of Rita’s, and Elain was watching Mor’s mating thread run directly into the club. “Can we walk around the building really quick?”

“You think her mate may be inside?” asked Feyre. 

“It’s possible, but I just want to make sure it doesn’t pop out the other side.”

One trip around the building confirmed her suspicions. “Your mate is inside this building, Mor.”

All the color drained from Mor’s face, but she turned and opened the door in spite of her fear. The three of them found a comfortable booth in the corner where they ordered and ate food before continuing the search. 

Elain left her coat with the others as she gently held on the Mor’s white string. Crossing the room, she followed the bond to a female who was sitting on a bar stool next to a male that kissed her on the cheek. Elain was almost sure the female shied away from the kiss. 

Elain gasped and dashed back to the booth. “She’s at the bar.”

Mor swallowed a gulp of water. “She?”

“She,” Elain said. “But she’s with a male with blue wings, so I’m not sure what your chances are here.”

“Did this male have green hair and greyish almost purple skin?” asked Feyre. Elain nodded. 

Mor and Feyre looked at each other for a moment before both muttering, “Gerard.”

“Man-whore extraordinaire,” retorted Mor. “I can handle him. But will you guys come with me?”

“Of course,” said Feyre as she took Mor’s hand. Elain took Mor’s other hand and led them across the room to where the two fae at the bar were now sitting and talking over drinks. Mor froze at the sight and swore. 

“Feyre, can you tell if she needs to be rescued from his bullshit?” asked Mor, fists curling at her sides. 

Feyre stared at the female for a moment before nodding to Mor, “She wants him to go away but doesn’t know how to tell him that without offending him and possibly putting herself in danger.”

Mor marched up to the couple and slung an arm around the male. “You know, Gerard, if you’re gonna flirt your way into an afternoon quicky, can you not do it with my favorite dress designer? Crispin here is under my protection, and you would do well to remember it.” The comment was just threatening enough that the male’s eyes bulged before he beat a hasty retreat, muttering apologies. 

Crispin sighed in relief. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to see you, Lady Morrigan.”

“How many times have I told you to just call me Mor?” she asked as she took a seat. Feyre and Elain took seats on the other side of Crispin. “This is Feyre and her older sister Elain.”

Crispin lowered her head, “High Lady.”

Feyre waved her hand at the title, “Just Feyre will do. We don’t really stand on ceremony with each other, so we don’t really expect any of you to either.”

“Crispin,” Mor started, “I know you probably have to go back to your shop soon, but I will buy out your entire shop if you spend the afternoon with me. There are things I want to talk to you about, and I think it may be kind of emotional.”

“I can’t just close, Mor. I have a contract with the High Lord to stay open certain hours to pay back the money he lent me to start my business.” Crispin looked nervous, but Mor just looked at Feyre. 

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” said Feyre. “I think I can hold off the old busybody if he tries anything.

Crispin looked from Mor to Feyre and back before nodding and finishing the drink in front of her. “I don’t have any appointments today, so I can close up without you buying the whole shop, but I’ll need to stop by and leave a note on my door.”

Mor and Crispin stood to leave but Mor turned back to Feyre. “Can you call a family meeting and tell the boys the truth? If this goes well, I want to bring her to dinner tonight at the townhouse.”

“You sure you don’t want to tell them? Or not say anything and just show up?”

“The look on Rhys’s face as he has to suffer through dinner with questions,” Mor thought for a moment. “Don’t tell them. Just tell them what time dinner is.” 

Feyre and Elain left for the townhouse and told the others to be at family dinner. And when that dinner came, the three Illyrians were there holding their pre-dinner drinks, staring at the table that was set for one more then they expected. 

“Is Nesta joining us?” asked Cassian nervously. 

Elain shook her head, “No, if all goes well, Mor is bringing a guest for dinner.”

Azriel was skeptical, “What do you mean ‘if all goes well’?”

The sound of the front door opening saved Elain from answering him. Mor bustled into the living room wearing the most beautiful casual dress Elain had ever seen. She was smiling, but she was alone. 

Mor cleared her throat, “Family, I have gathered you here this evening because I have found my mate. This afternoon, with help from Elain and Feyre, we searched the town. Luckily, I already knew her, and had planned on pursuing a romantic relationship with her. She has agreed to consider the possibilities and meet you all.”

Rhys looked like someone just slapped him. He hated surprises. “She?” he asked quietly, and Elain saw a bead shoot down his bond to Feyre. 

Feyre didn’t respond, she just gave Mor a disapproving look. “Are you making that poor woman stand in the hall? Crispin, you can come in. Mor is being ridiculous and we don’t bite.”

Elain picked up the drink she had prepared for Crispin and handed it to her, turning to help smooth over introductions. “The one who looks like he wants to blend into the wall is Azriel, and the one who I’m sure is about to say something rude is Cassian. I assume you already know Rhys, the High Lord who may barf on the floor.”

Crispin laughed sweetly at these introductions. “Mor said this might come as a surprise, I just didn’t realize how much.”

Azriel managed to recover first, “After knowing Mor for five hundred years, I’ve learned that surprises are just part of my life now.”

“But I’m still too old for this shit,” chimed in Rhys as he knocked back his whole drink in one go. 

“I’m sorry, guys,” Mor said quietly. “I’ve always been afraid the three of you would be angry or hate me or something. Which I know is an irrational and unreasonable fear, but a fear nonetheless.”

All three Illyrians set their glasses down, tucked in their wings, and gathered her up in a massive group hug, telling her they loved her no matter what. Elain could hear Mor sob from inside the cuddle puddle. 

Crispin turned to Feyre, “Who knew the noble warriors that protected us were so sensitive and loving.”

“There’s a reason I refer to them as Illyrian babies.”

Everyone laughed, even the Illyrian babies on the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

Elain wasn’t sure what she expected this day to be like, but this wasn’t it. The moment she had set foot in the Rainbow, she noticed the tension in the air. Thousands of people milled about in their winter coats, walking up to random strangers and shaking hands before walking away. 

Elain waded into the center of the crowd. “So, how are we going to do this?”

Feyre was right behind her, “Well, if we tell one of them, word will spread like wildfire.”

But they didn’t have to do anything. Three Illyrians flew over their heads and landed at the edge of the square. Feyre and Elain pushed their way over to them just as Rhys started talking over the crowd. “This year, we are going to do something a little bit different, so if I could have your attention please?”

The crowd was immediately silent. “This year,” Rhys continued, “we have found that Elain Archeron, Feyre’s sister, has the power to see the mating bonds like strings of light through the world. Elain has decided that she would like to help each and every one of you find your destined mate. Please form a circle around the square.”

The circle formed quickly with the help of Azriel and Cassian. “Elain will only take you to your mate if they are in this circle. If they are not here, then it is their choice to remain anonymous. I will not take anyone’s choices in this matter.” Mumbles of agreement shot around the circle. 

Elain approached the edge of the circle and picked up the thread of a female with bright pink eyes. The female close behind her, Elain followed the bond across the circle, where it ended at a male so tall, Elain was sure he had to stoop to get through doors. The female looked at the male, and they both smiled. Elain gave the bond a tug just to make sure they both felt it. They both gasped from the tug. “You are mates,” said Elain as she stepped back. 

The two mates left the circle, introducing themselves as they walked away. Elain turned to the fae next to her, repeating the action she had with the female. Only this time, when she got to the edge of the circle, the bond shot off into the city. “I’m sorry, you mate is not in this circle.”

“It was worth a shot,” said the male. He left the circle with a melancholy sigh. 

Over and over, on and on, Elain followed the threads through the world. About a fourth of the people she helped walked away with a mate, but most didn’t. Most left the circle with a sigh and a sad look. 

As the number of people in the circle dropped, so too did the likelihood of someone finding their mate. By the time Elain got to the last fifteen people, she had them line up and just told all of them together that their mates weren’t here. 

When the last of the people had gone, Rhys scooped up Feyre and carried her off again, and Cassian departed to see if Nesta would speak to him today. She probably wouldn’t, but he was always hopeful. 

Alone in the square, Azriel looked at Elain. “Will you help me search the city tomorrow?”

Elain took a breath. “That depends. What will you do when you find her?”

“I don’t know. It will depend on who she is. Why do you ask?”

Unshed tears fell from Elain’s eyes. The stress of the last few days was killing her and this subject was most on her mind. “Because I want you for myself,” she whispered, turning away. Elain pressed the back of her hand to her mouth as she tried to control the sobs that racked her small body. 

Two strong arms looped around her middle, pulling her back flush with his body as his massive wings surrounded them, cloaking them in darkness. “I thought I was the only one who felt that way,” he muttered into her hair. “When I found out you weren’t mated to Lucien, I wanted to jump with joy. But in the next breath, you said you saw your bond and I was devastated all over again. I thought I was the only one wishing you would turn to me and tell me you wanted to be with me. Or that we were mated.”

Elain cried harder, “But you still want to find her, even though I’m right here?”

Azriel turned her around in his arms and tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. “I want to find her so I can tell her to never come looking for me. I want to tell her that I am in love with this beautiful woman who has the most beautiful garden in the world and seems to understand me with no words at all.”

Elain sobbed one more time before Azriel’s lips captured hers in a searing kiss. Elain threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself closer, silently begging him not to let go. Azriel’s tongue ran along the seam of her lips as they kissed. Elain sighed into him, opening her mouth and admitting his tongue. 

When they finally came up for air, Azriel stroked her hair and spoke. “If it makes you that uncomfortable that I look for her at all, I won’t do it. If it’s going to hurt you, I can do without.”

“You would do that? For me?” Elain’s tears hadn’t quite finished, but this time they were happier tears. 

“Of course, Elain. If it means that much to you, I won’t look for her.”

Elain cried even harder as she stepped back from his arms. Azriel watched her with concern and confusion. She picked up her thread that was almost blindingly vibrant now, wrapped her hand around it, and pulled. Not hard, but just enough to make sure he felt it on the other end. 

Azriel gasped just like all the others had. Understanding flashed through his eyes as their bond snapped into place. “You wanted to know if I loved you before you told me. And my need to go looking only hurt you further.”

Elain nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I was afraid you would only want to be with me because of some stupid magic and I didn’t want to hold you to some stupid thing I wanted if you didn’t want it too.”

Azriel scooped her up and took flight. “You don’t have to be sorry. I understand those fears more than you probably realize.”

Elain looked out and realized they weren’t headed home. “Where are you taking me?”

Azriel looked nervous for the first time in this very awkward conversation. “I have a small house on the other side of the river. I figured you wouldn’t want to continue this conversation with all the others eavesdropping.”

“Can we stop by the townhouse before we go? I’d like to change into something more comfortable.”

Azriel nodded and changed course.


	6. The Sex Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For those who want to skip to the good stuff, this is the smut chapter.

It was well after dark when they arrived, and Azriel’s house looked almost abandoned in the moonlight. He set Elain on her feet before he fumbled in his pockets for his keys. 

As soon as they entered the house, lights came on everywhere. The high ceilings and archways were clearly designed with wings in mind, and the chairs had cutouts for the same reason. Azriel led her through the house to a room at the back that happened to be a kitchen. “Are you hungry? I know it’s been a long day,” he said in a low voice. “I’m not a very good cook, but I can figure something out for us.”

Elain smiled, “Actually, I already made food for us. It just needs to be baked for a bit.”

Azriel froze. “You would…cook for me?”

Elain was prepared for this question. Feyre had already briefed her on how mating bonds worked and how one would accept them. Elain had planned for this when they stopped at the townhouse. 

“Yes, Azriel. I would. And before you object, yes, I do know what that means to you.”

Azriel stood rigid as Elain picked up the bag she had set on the floor and fished out a large, sealed container she had made up the day before. If she was going to present her mate with food, it was going to be food she made herself. Elain started the oven and placed the container inside to bake. 

Azriel still hadn’t moved. “Elain, I just need to understand something.”

Elain turned to him and slipped her arms around his torso. He finally quit impersonating a statue and held her close. 

He continued. “You are so soft and good and wonderful. But you know that I’m not like that. I’m…twisted. I’ve killed people, Elain. I have tortured people and snapped people’s limbs if they displeased me. So, I don’t understand why you would choose to tie yourself to…to a deformed monster.”

“You are not a monster, Azriel. I’ve seen monsters. A monster put me in that cauldron and murdered my father. A monster tortured my sister and put her through hell Under the Mountain. Monsters tried to tear this city to shreds and kidnap my sisters in the library. You are not a monster. You may go to significant lengths to protect that which you love, but that doesn’t make you a monster. I know you’ve killed people, I was there, I watched. But I know it was to protect your home and to protect me.” Elain ran a hand through his hair and cupped his cheek. “You are not the villain you seem to think you are. You have been my hero and protector all along.”

Elain brought one of Azriel’s hands to her face, peeled off the fingerless glove, and kissed his palm. His sharp intake of breath as he watched her moved her to her very soul. Silver tears formed in his eyes. He was a strong and powerful warrior, but the woman in front of him embodied a strength of character he could only begin to understand. 

Elain continued. “I’ve been broken. I’ve been bruised and put through the wringer enough times that I know what it means to stand in the face of adversity. And every time, you were there to stand with me. You were the first one to listen to me when the visions came. You were the one who sat with me until I was ready to speak. You have healed me in more ways than you can imagine. So, yes. I will tie myself to you forever. I will accept the mate that was chosen for me, but also the male I have chosen myself. That is, if he’ll have me?”

Azriel couldn’t remember the last time he had cried. Had it been years? Decades? He usually found emotional release in physical exertion and sparring with Cassian and Rhys, but this time his soul needed tears. Tiny droplets rolled down his face and Elain stood on her tiptoes to kiss them away. Azriel managed to hold onto her arms as his knees gave out and he buried his face in her stomach. His wings gently draped on the floor, Azriel’s body shook from the force of his feelings. 

Elain held his head as he cried, gently stroking his soft hair. Azriel looked up at her as he gripped the back of her dress. “I would be honored,” he said raggedly, “to have you as my mate. I would be honored to have your strength in my life and I would be honored to protect you from everything evil in this world.” 

The timer Elain had set for food went off. Elain stepped away as he got up off the floor to grab plates and utensils. Elain snatched one of the forks from his hand and dug into the hot dish she had set on the counter. 

Full fork in hand, Elain pulled Azriel close and offered him the food. “I love you, Azriel, and I will spend the rest of my life loving you.” Azriel allowed her to feed him that first bite and Elain saw their bond flare and pulse like Rhys and Feyre’s did. Azriel groaned at the wonderful taste of his mate’s cooking and the love she had declared for him. 

Azriel swallowed the food and kissed her hungrily. The bond flared white hot and full around them. The fork hit the floor as Elain’s body melted into his and her arms circled his neck. Plates and food forgotten, Azriel’s hands were everywhere. “I love you, Elain, and right now I’m only hungry for your touch.”

Elain giggled slightly, “Yes, Feyre did mention something about a frenzy…”

Taking a deep breath, Azriel took a step back creating a physical chasm between them. He fought for control as he asked, “Are you sure you want this?”

“Let me take a few bites of food so I don’t faint, and then I’m all yours,” said Elain, reaching for the other fork on the counter. “I haven’t eaten all day.”

The physical restraint it took for Azriel to not sweep her away right there and then was obvious. But as Elain took a few bites and fed him a few more, he visibly relaxed. He leaned against the counter so they could see eye to eye, and all he could think about was the fact that this female claimed him. This wonderful enigma of a being had chosen him as her protector. 

“Think the other Illyrians would be shocked if they ever saw you being hand-fed by a tiny female like me?” asked Elain flirtatiously. 

Azriel shook his head, “Rhys turns into putty for Feyre, and you’ve seen Cassian around Nesta. The Illyrians in the camps wouldn’t be that surprised either. Even the fiercest of warriors will soften for his mate.”

Elain put down the fork and stepped into his arms, “Now, did you have plans to ravish me?”

Azriel picked her up and practically ran for the stairs. Elain giggled as he growled in her ear, “I plan to lick every single inch of you and listen to you moan my name as I do it.”

Heat pooled between her legs and her breasts tightened slightly at the thought of his touch. “You certainly waste no time,” she breathed. 

He let out a laugh, “If I didn’t get you onto a bed quickly then I was going to ravish you right there on the counter.”

“While that sounds wonderful, I do appreciate your restraint,” she said flippantly. “Especially since I’ve never been with a man before.”

Azriel froze at her words, one hand on the doorknob to his bedroom. His erection strained against his leather pants, begging to take her. “You’ve never…?” he asked quietly. 

Elain shook her head, blushing. “In the human world, one doesn’t…indulge in that kind of thing unless you’re married. No male has ever touched me that way, Azriel, but I want you to touch me. Please.”

At her plea, Azriel opened the door and set her on the bed. He captured her lips in a passionate but slow kiss. She cupped his face for a moment before running her hands over his broad shoulders and down his strong arms. Arms that reached behind her to find the buttons of her dress. Realizing she would have no idea what to do with his clothes, he flared his wings and led her hand to one of the two lines of buttons that ran down the small of his back. Her deft hands understood and undid the small closures before sliding up his chest and pulling the shirt off over his head. 

Azriel moved from her lips to press his mouth to her neck, leaving a trail of kissed in his wake. Elain breathed his name faintly in just the right way that made his heart tighten in his chest and his eyes roll back in his head. Button after button he found on her dress until the fabric sagged from her shoulders and easily slipped down her arms. The thick straps of her slip teased his lips as he made sure all the fabric she wore pooled around her slim waist. 

Elain splayed her hands on his back for stability as Azriel climbed onto the bed and gently laid her against the pillows at its head. Her clothes had been left on the floor as she lay bare but for her stockings. Azriel cupped one of her creamy breasts with his hand and leaned down to taste the other. Elain threw her head back and moaned, her legs parting, allowing him access as she ran her foot up his side and teased the underside of his wing with her ankle. 

Azriel echoed her moan. Releasing her breast, he kissed his way down her soft stomach and dragged one finger up her folds. 

“Oh, yes, Azriel…” Elain gasped as he took her into his mouth to taste. His tongue found that small nub that he knew would elicit the most pleasure and held it between his teeth while he licked it. Elain’s soft moans grew increasingly louder as she felt pressure build up in her body. Her hands in his hair, Elain cried out as her release found her. Shockwaves flew through her body as Azriel held her hips and wrung out more pleasure from the tiny bundle of nerves buried in her folds. Just as another wave wracked her body, Azriel slid his first two fingers inside her and curled his fingers forward to heighten her orgasm. 

Elain’s screams of his name made Azriel’s head spin. He wanted, no, needed to be deep inside of her, and not his fingers, but the hard length that begged to be free of its leather prison. Azriel peeled off her stockings and stood for a moment to shed the rest of his clothes. Elain stared at his hard masculine body, so different from hers, yet so enticing. She scooted to the edge of the bed and took his length in her hand. 

Azriel barked out a curse at her touch. He laid his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of her tiny hand on him. With very little instruction, Elain stroked him to the point of climax, but he stopped her before he spilled. “Please, Elain,” he begged, “I need to be inside of you.”

Elain scooted back to the pillows and laid back, parting her legs for him. Azriel covered her body with his and pressed his forehead to hers. Slicking himself on her folds, he pushed into her slowly. Elain panted as her body stretched to fit his. There was a slight pain as he pushed deeper, but it passed quickly, and by the time he was seated to the hilt, Elain was feeling that pleasure again. 

Azriel paused when he was fully inside her, waiting for some cue that she was okay. If she were hurting, he wouldn’t continue. He refused to be the cause of her pain. There was silence for a moment before she rocked her hips and he heard her gasp and then moan low in her throat. She begged for him to make her feel more. 

He didn’t have to be told twice. Holding her leg around his waist, Azriel retreated from her warmth before pushing back in again. She begged again, this time for harder. He obliged, and soon they found a rhythm that had Elain screaming his name and Azriel breathing hard, reveling in his own pleasure but praying he pleased her. She reached behind him and grasped the edge of his wings, knowing the kind of pressure point that was. 

Pleasure and love blinded him as he felt himself lose control and cum inside of her. Determined to continue and hoping he wasn’t done with her, Azriel slowed only for a moment before he felt that male need for his mate harden him again. 

She begged him for more again and this time he pulled out, flipped her over on to all fours, and entered her again. He reached around to rub her clit as her pounded into her and she screamed his name into a pillow. 

This time when she came, her orgasm had her thrashing on the bed and crying for his touch. Her inner walls squeezed him tight as he spilled his own release inside of her with a groan. He ran his free hand down her back, forcing the aftershocks to flow through her body and her insides milked him for all he was worth. 

Elain collapsed her body flat on the bed as Azriel laid beside her. He took a deep, grounding breath before he spoke. “That was amazing.”

Giggling, Elain draped herself over his chest. “I would’ve thought an old male like you would’ve had all kinds of sex.”

“Five hundred years is a long time, and yes I’ve been with several females. But there’s a difference between the act of sex and the feeling of making love to you.” 

Azriel traced circles on her skin as he thought of something else. "What does our bond look like now?" he asked quietly. 

Elaine rolled to her side and reached down the bond to touch his soul. 'It looks like pure, beautiful white light,' she said into his mind. 'A bright rope of power that connects us.'  
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair, already feeling himself hardening for another round. Elain felt it too, and this time she sat up and impaled herself on him. They groaned together and let the frenzy of mating take them away.


	7. Epilogue

It took them several days to finally leave Azriel’s house, and only because Rhys showed up with an urgent job for his spymaster, Feyre on his heels with clothes for Elain. 

After Elain changed, she noticed the second bag at Feyre’s feet. “What’s that?”

Feyre heaved a mildly annoyed sigh, “Those are clothes for Cassian. Our next stop is Nesta’s flat, and we haven’t seen him since that day in the Rainbow either.”

“How much you want to bet he’s got claw marks down his back?” asked Rhys from the entryway. 

Elain giggled at his joke, and was going to reply, but Azriel tensed up and glared at his friend, clearly debating the merits of taking a chunk out of Rhys. Elain huffed slightly and descended the stairs to take his face in her hands. She stared into his eyes as she dumped logic on him. “Rhys is my sister’s mate. You are my mate. Calm down.”

Azriel released the breath he had been holding and nodded. Rhys gave him a sympathetic look, “Now you know how I felt when Feyre laughed at your joke right after we were mated.”

Azriel said nothing, but he did growl at Rhys. Rhys only laughed. 

The four of them marched out the front door together, placing bets on the state of Cassian’s health: living or dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's IT!! That's all, that's everything. I tried to post this when I finished it last night, but the site was being weird. Stay tuned for more Elain/Azriel fics because I just love them.


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